WHERE IS THE LOVE???
You know what it’s like. You go into a relationship all fired up with high expectations. Everything is going swell. You might even go into the sanctimony of marriage. Still, everything is swell.
Then, one day you come to realize that the life you thought that you were going to have with those high expectations hasn’t happened. Frustration sets in creating a ground swell of resentment, guilt, anger & a pile of other dis-satisfied emotions.
Wam!
Life slapped you in the face and what did you do about it?
You whined and moaned, and of course blamed the other party. Ever heard the saying, “familiarity breeds contempt.”
Well, by this stage, your up to your neck in it. Who needs enemies with relationships like these?
Unfortunately, for most people they are in love with ‘being’ in love. Infatuated.
People get obsessed about many things – success and wealth, beauty, gaining power, love. The biggest downside of infatuation is feeling insecure.
Everything that you do comes immediately from insecurity.
This is where that green eyed jealousy monster comes from. And we all know what that is, even if we
secretly pretend that we don’t. No one likes to admit to this one.
Infatuation can feel like a rush that overwhelms the senses as you leap out of a plane and skydive towards the earth.
Infatuation is being on a high. Real life just doesn’t enter into the heads of infatuated people, they’ve got their heads in the clouds rather than having their feet firmly planted on the ground.
Infatuation is generally directed towards the other person within the relationship. This infatuation occurs by putting an ideal upon a pedestal. It really places the relationship in a bind for all the attention is being focused on the infatuation whilst other areas of life are unavoidably slipping. Complete disaster is only a stones throw away.
It is devastating. First you feel heartbroken, then resentment and anger builds, eventually depression sets in.
Love, not infatuation takes a firm grasp on reality and staying power.
Don’t worry, you can put your feet firmly on the ground and get your head out of the clouds and stop daydreaming, with some simple and effective ‘Rules For a Happy Relationship.’
1. Acknowledge that your relationship is in trouble and is sinking fast, that’s if it is still afloat. You may require some scuba gear for salvaging.
2. Work through the problems with your partner. Here’s a clue – the problem in not them.
3. Face what you fear, and just do it! Fear has no teeth and will not bite you in the arse. For that experience visit your neighborhood dog, antagonize it for awhile & Bob’s your uncle.
4. Do what you say that you’re going to do. Simply follow through.
5. Ask for help. Hiding under a rock, pretending that everything is ok will only sink your relationship faster – a B line to the bottom.
6. Have ‘relationship’ goals. It is not all about you.
7. Take action and make those goals a reality. No room for daydreaming here.
8. Check-up on your ‘relationship’ goals regularly to see that your relationship is moving forward, not going backwards, sideways or up & down like the financial markets. Stability is the key to relationship success.
With these easy ‘Rules for a Happy Relationship‘ you can love the person you’re with.
Shele & Michael.
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Playmate fun just got hotter in and out of the bedroom.
When you are unhappy with yourself and don’t love yourself, you cannot give anything else.